Hey! I’m Danie

I’m gonna show you how to connect deeper- in and out of the bedroom

I’m on a mission to create more queer joy through helping queer women and AFAB folks reconnect to their erotic selves, stop performing, and experience intimacy that feels raw, safe, and real—without overthinking it. Specializing in relational, and sexual, and religious trauma.

When I’m not geeking out about intimacy, you can find me

  • taking long walks admiring cute dogs and flowers

  • t9 texting like a wizard on my flip phone

  • or drinking black coffee by a camp fire with a good book (preferably one with that old book smell).

But I didn’t become a Somatic Sexologist because I was always good at intimacy.
I became one because I wasn’t.

When I tell people I’m a Somatic Sexologist, their first question is always, “How did you get into that??” Followed by, “So what does that actually mean?”

So, how did I get into talking about sex on the internet?! Funny story…

“Don’t have sex or you will get pregnant and DIE.”

-Coach Carr, Mean Girls

This was basically the type sex ed I received raised in an evangelical christian household. I did my best to follow the rules, while I lived with the reality of complex trauma, sexual abuse, and an eating disorder. After I came out in my mid-20’s and ended my hetero marriage, I was OVERWHELMED.

BUT my overwhelm with this newfound queer identity was laced with excitement about the possibility of what my life could be.

I had done “the work”, accepted my queerness, and was finally listening to what my body wanted...

— So why did my body still shut down every time sex and intimacy felt too real?

I thought I was broken

I was desperate to find answers: Why did I need a drink to relax enough to have sex? Why could I talk about intimacy but not feel safe enough to have it?

So i doubled down: more analysis more Instagram therapy accounts, more late night reddit rabbit holes. (tell me I’m not the only one…anybody?)

As a self proclaimed personal development junkie, I had no problem analyzing my childhood trauma, preaching nonviolent communication, and watching 7 videos in a row about attachment theory.

But I still couldn’t reliably orgasm, communicate about sex with nearly having a panic attack, had no idea what I liked, and felt waves of shame and disgust after masturbating.

All my knowledge wasn’t translating to the bedroom

Then it clicked

Sexual struggles aren’t about sex.

They’re about survival.

The same freeze response I had in the bedroom?
It was showing up in my whole life: not setting boundaries, shrinking myself to be liked, bottling my emotions, going quiet when I wanted to scream.

I wasn’t broken.
My nervous system was protecting me—beautifully, fiercely, and in all the wrong places.

After another fight about sex with a partner ended in tears, I decided I couldn’t continue like this anymore.

That’s exactly how I discovered the key to incredible sex and deep intimacy.

Healing didn’t happen through more insight. It happened through my instincts.
When I stopped trying to fix myself and started following what felt good, everything changed.

I discovered that my body already knew what I wanted—and also how to heal the pain from my past. The key was learning to get out of analyzing mode and reconnect with my body’s innate wisdom.

This is what I now call this my animal body- the part of me that still remembered how to feel, want, move, and connect before trauma taught me to shut it down.

This is the part I help clients reconnect with now.

And it became the basis of my Feral Connection Method.

What makes my approach different?

It ditches flashy sex tips and is designed for queer folks to unwind trauma through pleasure—not pressure.

Backed by Science

Complex trauma needs relational and experiential healing—not just talk. Our therapeutic relationship is the basis for healing. And in that, we practice intimacy skills together. This is called experiential learning, and it’s fastest way to create new neural pathways, which lead to long lasting transformation. I won’t just throw more tools at you to go try on your own. (that’s what chapGPT is for).

Sapphic Centered

No more trying to adapt heteronormative advice and tips for your queer soul. Women who love other women have unique intimacy dynamics and struggles. If you’re looking to work with someone who GETS IT, I specialize in working with queer women(cis and trans) and AFAB folks.

100% Real

No Love & Light or Good Vibes Only around here. Your messiness and humanness are not only encouraged, but required for exciting, deep intimacy. There is no striving for perfection, being fully “healed”, or shame for not being regulated all the time like a cold robot. We get to be human, together.

Your body already knows how to connect and how to heal.

My personal journey combined with my professional training as a Certified Sexologist, Somatica® sex and relationship coaching, Breathwork, and Somatic Stress Release, have shown me that trauma is not life sentence.

Two things are true: trauma impacted you AND you can access immense pleasure, bliss, and connection anyway.

That is what I want for you.

If you're thinking, "this isn't possible for me" ... allow me to lovingly tell you that you are so wrong.

Let’s reconnect to your animal body so you can have the deep connection with your partner(s) you dream about.