When I tell people I’m a Somatic Sexologist, they always ask, “Soo what exactly do you do?” Then, “How did you get into THAT?!?”

The Short answer: I work hands-on with folks to develop a happier relationship with their body, intimacy and sexuality.

But HOW did I get into talking about lesbian sex on the internet? (my gramma’s worse nightmare?) Funny story…

“Don’t have sex or you will get pregnant and die!” -Coach Carr, Mean Girls

This sums up the attitude about sex in my household, growing up in a high control Christian group.

Sure, I’m a Queer Somatic Sexologist now. But it’s not because I was always curious and liberated in sex. Quite the opposite.

After struggling to navigate my queer sexuality and living with the realities of childhood sexual abuse, an easting disorder, and religious shame so intense I was scared to even look between my legs, In my late 20’s I finally got tired of playing by rules that were never made for me.

I (very messily) left my marriage to a man and started over.

I thought coming out would solve all my intimacy problems… I was wrong.

I was finally listening to what my body wanted.

Still, I couldn’t have sex unless I was drunk, had no idea how to talk about what I wanted, and couldn’t reliably orgasm.

I thought I was broken.

As a self proclaimed personal development junkie, I had no problem analyzing my childhood trauma, preaching nonviolent communication, and watching 7 videos in a row about attachment theory.

But intimacy felt so… complicated.

After years of trying to heal trauma and shame and still coming up short, I knew I was missing something.

I realized that just like my body holds my pain, it also holds wisdom for healing and feeling good. But I couldn’t get there through more thinking, I needed to work with my body. I just had to figure out how to create more safety and pleasure in a body that was historically full of pain and fear. This is how my Feral Intimacy Method was born.

Now my sex life (and everything else) looks completely different.

I learned ways to heal that were gentle and even fun, rather than an endless quest of digging out trauma and reliving it. I’m no longer afraid of my triggers because I trust myself to take care of me, and to ask my partner for support too. I am confident in my body and my queerness. My wife and I have an incredible sex life, and a deeply secure, supportive emotional connection. I talk openly about what I want from my intimacy so casually like what movie to watch.

My life feels full of pleasure, in and outside the bedroom.

It’s my life’s work to guide people back to their own power to heal and feel good.

FUN FACTS ABOUT ME


PROFESSIONAL TRAINING

I’ve spent 1,000s of hours learning and refining my skills, and my life experience outside the classroom has been equally as influential.

If you’re curious, my formal education includes:

  • Certified Somatic Sexologist (American Board of Sexology)

  • Sexological Bodywork & Somatic Sex Education ( Level 3, In Training)

  • Trauma Informed Somatic Sex and Relationship Coach (Somatica Institute)

  • Somatic Trauma Therapy (Dr. Scott Lyons, The Embody Lab)

  • Conscious Connected Breathwork (Integrative Breath)

My personal and professional experiences have shown me that trauma is not life sentence.

Two things are true: trauma impacted you AND you can access immense pleasure, bliss, and connection anyway.

That is your open invitation to experience the heights of pleasure.

If you're thinking, "this isn't possible for me" ... allow me to (lovingly) tell you that you are so wrong.

  • Nature and my wife are my two greatest loves

  • I’m really into digital minimalism, data privacy, and resisting endless “optimization” of the human experience

  • I love cooking and watching movies as a very amateur film critic.