creating deeper connection in and out of the bedroom
Experience transformation with the Erotic Foundations Framework, a cutting edge method that helps sapphics move beyond surviving with trauma into thriving so that sex and intimacy feels playful, safe, exciting, and deeply satisfying and FUN.
To have incredible sex and intimacy that lasts, you have to heal trauma.
You know that, I know that… heck, everyone online seems to be talking about trauma.
But how do you go from being SO SELF AWARE and still stuck to ACTUALLY feeling like you can relax, get turned on, and enjoy sex and intimacy without shame, shyness, anxiety, performance, self consciousness and trauma responses taking over?
The most efficient, transformative and fun way: connecting to your erotic energy.
Because the erotic is MORE THAN just sex— it is also your presence, creativity, curiosity, power, sensuality, pleasure, and ALIVENESS.
All the things trauma disconnects you from- but reconnection is 1,000% possible!
Even if you’re shy or awkward, here are signs you're ready to connect to your erotic energy:
Your growth mindset has helped you take control of your life—
You try your best to eat your vegetables, limit your screen time, and exercise. You know that you have the power to create the life you want. But you’re realizing your self growth journey has left out sex and intimacy.
You have all the determination to create passionate and deep intimacy, but just don’t know the exact steps to take to get there.
You’re aware of your intimacy struggles, but they keep repeating—
After all the personal development you’ve done- reading books, learning from accounts on instagram, talk therapy, you could write your thesis on your childhood trauma, attachment style and patterns.
Yet you’re frustrated that all that self awareness hasn’t translated to more pleasurable sex and feeling good in your body.
You’re doing the work to prioritize your relationship(s)—
Research consistently shows that strong human connections are vital for physical and mental well-being. And you’re learning how to communicate and making time to connect with loved ones…but it still feels like you are disconnected sexually from yourself and/or your partner.
Let’s pause for a second.
What if I told you healing trauma to create the sex and intimacy that has you daydreaming at work didn’t have to be so… exhausting?
You don’t need ten more years of therapy and more late night google sessions to analyze your way to a better sex life.
Your body naturally knows how to tap into to your innate eroticism.
And I am here to be your guide, cheerleader and accomplice to show you how to find your way back to your body, your aliveness, and your pleasure. And dare I say, we will have fun doing it!
Sounds great but how?!?
The Erotic Foundations Framework
We go at your pace as we move away from talking in circles and build erotic fluency through helping your nervous system process trauma, sorting through shame and “shoulds” to uncover your true turn ons, and build communication and emotional intimacy skills through real time practice aka experiential learning (scientifically backed as the fastest way to master new skills).
Much like a rose, your erotic energy cannot be forced open
We simply create the environment for it to blossom.
I’ll give you the exact steps:
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Relaxation
Experience more ease in your body and boost your libido by processing built up emotions, stress and trauma from your body and nervous system. I do this gently and effectively with the Body Trust Process. Cultivate mindfulness and learn to read your body’s feedback so you identify triggers, desires, and know what you need moment to moment to create feelings of safety, relaxation and presence around intimacy.
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Self Discovery
Enjoy sex and intimacy more by finding creative ways to work with shame and patterns that are holding you back from the pleasure you crave. Create more excitement in relationships by exploring your desires, boundaries and attachment so you can create an outline to access your pleasure whenever you want. I call this your Pleasure Pathway.
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Relationship Confidence
Feel ready for deep intimacy as we go beyond talking and actively practice relationship skills together. We co-create an authentic, therapeutic connection where you will master skills of emotional intimacy like communicating boundaries, desires and flirting with honesty, compassion and curiosity using Playful Practice in my cutting edge Full-Spectrum Communication Method.
5 minutes a day to
pleasure beyond trauma
An audio course that breaks down how all trauma impacts sex and intimacy, and the science behind how you can use pleasure to heal.
SERVICES:
Working with sexuality is soo personal. Choose your own adventure.
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PLEASURE BEYOND TRAUMA COURSE: You’re new to focusing on your sexuality and looking to become more efficient with connecting to your body, understanding the science of libido and feel in the drivers seat of your arousal. You’re either just starting to develop a relationship with your body and nervous system, or the one you have could use more depth. Your top priorities in this early stage are getting out of your head, and finding ways to feel less pressure and more pleasure.
You want to understand the science behind erotic energy and the how to work with the body and nervous system to create a solid, safe foundation to access it.
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EROTIC ARTISTRY PROGRAM: You’ve already established your connection to your body and awareness of your nervous system and are ready to take your journey with the erotic to the next level. Your primary goals at this stage are to heal trauma, explore your mind for true turn ons, work with shame and trauma that’s keeping you stuck, and build relationship skills like setting boundaries, flirting, asking for what you want, and navigating conflict with clarity and ease.
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That’s ok! I offer complimentary connection calls where we can figure out what next step is right for your unique situation.
Meet Danie
Somatic Sexologist, Sex & Intimacy Coach, and Eternal Optimist
I guide lesbians and sapphics to feeling relaxed, turned on, and practicing effective communication. Your body already knows what you want and what you need to feel excited about sex and intimacy. You just need to peel back layers of trauma shame and conditioning getting the way of the pleasure you deserve. That’s where I come in. You’ll get the guidance and expertise to create a positive relationship with sex and your body and have fun doing it!
A few questions…
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Nope! Lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, femme... if you're a queer woman/femme/non-binary human, you’re in the right place.
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Nope! Sex coaching will help you develop a deeper connection with your body and yourself which unlocks more joy and pleasure in your life.
It also prepares you to be a great partner when/if you get in a relationship. text goes here
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That makes sense! Its one of the most taboo topics. Rest assured we will move at your pace and create our sessions so that you will feel comfortable and get the most out of them.
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Traditional talk therapy works cognitively.
Typically with lots of story telling and venting.
This can be helpful. And, if talking solved all our problems, we’d all be healed by now.
I work holistically with the mind and body to address subconscious patterns held in the nervous system that block deeper connection.
In sessions, we focus on experiential learning.
This means that we practice relationship skills in real time together. Some of these are outside the boundaries of traditional therapies, like practicing flirting and giving and receiving touch.
Lastly, I am not trained to diagnose mental illnesses, or support people actively experiencing crisis, suicidal ideation, or psychosis.
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No. Although the things we work on together are sexual in nature, the purpose of our relationship is for your growth and to build skills for you to bring into your relationships.
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Somatics is an approach that believes the body is inherently self healing and holds valuable insight into our desires. It differs from a typical cognitive approach where the focus is the mind, thoughts, and reasoning.
This is not a new concept, as indigenous peoples had many ways to move stuck emotions and stress through the body.
If you have ever know something logically but done the opposite, then you have experienced how the mind can be on board but the body may not have integrated that lesson yet.
Including the body in personal growth work, especially sexual growth, is the best way to heal trauma, embody lessons we cognitively know, and feel confident and whole.